Top 10 moments to pat yourself on the back and say ‘there, there’.

10.    In retrospect, all you ever did was sleep and eat.
9.    You painstakingly type this document and forget to save it.
8.    Your parents decide to visit.
7.    You are having your monthly bath and the water goes off (very reliably).
6.    Even worse if you’re taking a shit.
5.    Your first crush tells you that you were her first crush.
4.    You finally decide to go to a class, and when you reach, it has been cancelled.
3.    Then again, there is (was) always Pearl.
2.    Your present crush decides to crush you. Find me a boyfriend, she says.
1.    There’s Aloo in the mess and nobody told you about it.

College Dayz

It truly is an age of literary outburst, with people, and gult-ures (no intentional pun) evolving with a pace most historians would be reluctant to admit. Language, essentially a by-product of current culture, would naturally be assumed to be subject to similar change, and this assumption is not wrong. Words, the likes of which humanity has never seen before are being accepted at a rate that would make even the stoutest Shakespearean theorist quail with uncertainity.

Words like bahookie (n. Scottish a person's buttocks.), blowback (n. chiefly US the unintended adverse results of a political action or situation.), mzee (n. (in East Africa) an older person; an elder.), obesogenic (adj. tending to cause obesity), plank (n. Brit. informal a stupid person.), retronym (n. a new term created from an existing word in order to distinguish the original referent of the existing word from a later one that is the product of progress or technological development (e.g. acoustic guitar for guitar).) or twonk (n. Brit. informal a stupid or foolish person.) being recently added to Oxford are but a harbinger as to what is to come.

As I see the red line highlighting the word ‘dayz’ and involuntarily flinch, the import of what I’m writing comes back to me with renewed vigour. Language, is but a product of people’s day-to-day communication. Consequently, as everyday processes grow more ruthlessly efficient, the priority on the newer generation is of being more functional rather than descriptive. As the reliance on MS Word’s spellcheck grows, English continues to change in new bewildering ways until finally, an article written in an attempt to emulate the old English is said to be ‘murdering the language’. Believe me, such a time has come.

The English that we grew up with, that which we read in Enid Blyton and our other beloved authors is no longer our English. However, this being that case of the elephant in the room we will mercifully conlude this boring rant, saying: Todayz English is a mixture of reronyms and cool wordz that perfectly capture everything hip and happening around us, and if you don’t speak this tongue, then you’re a dweeb, a geek, a wannabe with noob status that ain’t gettin’ nowheres. I m gn nw. c u l8r. gn.

-          A tribute to what used to be a beautiful language.

There, there.

< to be expanded >

The Reject

One of my brief attempts at romanticism, written in one of those rare times that I have human emotions. Here for your perusal, O' invisible audience, read on.

Them posters ain't workin'

An article written for LTGTR, that underlines the current state of the advertising industry (geeky photoshop guys), in the campus.

The Literary outburst

Another BITSian blog of note, this one by the hon. Sahil Mehta, founder and guiding spirit, behind Let The Good Times Roll, (more popular as LTGTR, or as the newsletter on the mess entrance wall), which managed to come out with 3 newsletters in 3 weeks, an incredible event of a magnitude never seen before.
Where's the fourth issue, you (nonexistent reader), may ask. The answer, (apart from ask no stupid questions and receive no lies), would be that we ran into some technical difficulties, but plan to be back on a much bigger scale soon.
Anyway, the blog can be found here at The Literary Outburst.

Introducin' instain noodles

This ain't the Ma(g)gi. It's better.
Presenting proudly, my friend's (who happens to be on Babby's side, and thus is one with the Force) instain blog, in which he shall explore the furthest reaches of the currently known intellectual universe, and other asplosive somethings,the singing sensations at instainoodles.
Read at your earliest inconvenience.

Stopwatch

The people at Google have brought to ligh a very useful method for website optimisation.

Stopwatch, a service available at: http://www.numion.com/Stopwatch/, that gives the time for individual components of a web page to load, on your machine. Thus, the slowest element can be found and the site adjusted accordingly.
This, in turn, can be used by the millions of aspiring web developers in the college, to make sites that will actually load, considering our net speed.

The Rise of a new era

The people back at Gao campus have just been reclassified as students of
"BITS-Pilani, K.K.Birla Goa Campus", which I guess, would make them BPKKBGCians, as opposed to the former, BPGC. Whether this was voluntary, done with the full consent and approval of the students, or a step by the insightful administrative class, deep in rumination of how this will also affect the victims, er.. students of the future, I can not say.
It will be nice, however, to see how they are taking it.

The Pearl trilogy

Right. This is going to be fun.


That's what they thought, and I'm now thinking, as I sit to segregate all my opinions and deliver high praise upon the 'pillars of support', that bore up BITS-Pilani, Hyderabad Campus's first ever, cultural fest.

Much as you hope for it, O' nonexistent audience, thou shalt have to persever a bit longer, as I now write this article.

There, there.

Trochee

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia,

Here's a bit of general invective, from the people whom I often tend to borrow.

A trochee or choree, choreus, is a metrical foot used in formal poetry consisting of a stressed syllable followed by an unstressed one. Trochee comes from the Greek τροχός, trokhós, wheel, and choree from χορός, khorós, dance; both convey the "rolling" rhythm of this metrical foot.

Uh. Uh. That maketh perfect sense, does it not? Now try this on for size.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's The Song of Hiawatha is written almost entirely in trochees, barring the occasional substitution (iamb, spondee, pyrrhic, etc.).

Should you ask me, whence these stories?

Whence these legends and traditions,

With the odours of the forest,

With the dew and damp of meadows,

In the second line, "and tra-" is a Pyrrhic substitution, as are "With the" in the third and fourth lines, and "of the" in the third. Even so, the dominant foot throughout the poem is the trochee.


Pyrrhic? That sounds like either a gastric condition of a chemical composite. Much WTFness, as often said by THE India Uncut writer. I'll let you figure that one out.

ze Layout is, er, out

Rather Self explanatory, I feel. Comments are welcome, so is criticism.
{ The audience hall is empty, the talk over. Goes to a corner and sulks.}